Reconstruction at the Closet

Hello Lovelies!!!

As you can see, things are changing, gearing up for the new year that will be upon us in less than 2 weeks...HOLY CRAP!

I am just hoping that 2018 is a lot less of a poisonous dumpster fire than this year has been in many ways. I am already working on a lot of things for the new year here, including setting up for my 2018 reading challenges and setting personal and professional goals that will get me to the place that I want to see myself by this time next year. 

You'll see the updated posting schedule already up, and I will be updating and modifying the pages and archiving those things that are no longer being featured here, but will ensure that you can still find them if you wish to take a trip down memory lane.  I am growing as an individual and finally I have found peace with myself and now it is a matter of working on those things that make me the happiest.

I hope that you all enjoy the changes that will be coming to the blog throughout 2018, and do not hesitate to add your voice to the conversations that are being had here and over on my youtube channel. 
Lots of love,
Caedy

October's Reading List

I've already read a few of my books on my  TBR list this month, and I still have at least 2 more to get through by the end of the month, and even read one that wasn't on my original list...

The books I've already finished this month: 

1. Adulthood is a Myth - Sarah Andersen
2. Everything Everything - Nicola Yoon
3. The Alchemist - Paulo Coehlo
4. Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
5. Milk and Honey - Rupi Kaur
6. Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded - Hannah Hart
7. My Lady Jane - Cynthia Hand
8. Big Little Lies - Liane Moriarty

Yes, Hannah Hart is one of my all time favorite Youtubers, and I will eventually own her cookbook...as well as a copy of Buffering: Untold Tales of a Life Fully Loaded because I absolutely loved the book.  

The books I have left to read on this month's TBR pile are: 
1. Caraval - Stephanie Garber

Wow, that's the only library book I still have to read.  I'm doing pretty good this month.  I've managed to get through my TBR pile and one additional book before the end of the month.  6 days left to read Caraval, I think I can do it.  I'll be starting it either later tonight or tomorrow during my shift at work. 

I have no idea what I'm going to be working on for November as far as reading goes, because I will be doing NaNoWriMo most likely, which means I will be spending most of my time writing (unless my muse is a royal pain in the ass, but we will see).

Anyway, what are some of the books you've read this month?

October's Outlook

Hello lovelies! It has been a little while, and I'm back on track with things.  I've been working on vlogs and videos for you, and I'm hoping to get back into getting things moving here as well, because it's been too long and I've missed you all terribly. 

There will be a post about some of the things that I've been dealing with, but that won't be today.  I'm considering making it a separate vlog and uploading it to my youtube channel, along with an accompanying blog post because there has been a lot going on and I feel the need to offer you that little glimpse into my personal life - if you wish to know me that well that is.  

Anyway! I have been working on my October Plan with me, and the video just went live this morning, you can watch it below, or over on my youtube channel. 

There will be a lot of black and orange for this month because well...Halloween.  I even have a few cute little images that I printed out and will be adding to my upcoming weeklies as we get closer and closer to Halloween.  Also, I will be reworking graphics and images here for Halloween and Fall in general, because I like decorating the blog for the seasons!  I am also working on making a new cover image for my youtube channel, as well as my various other social medias.  

Right now, I am also snapping pictures to use as thumbnails for various things, and images for blog usage.  There is a lot happening behind the scenes, and I'm so very much looking forward to sharing it with you and showing you what I've done. 

As for my reading outlook this month, I'm starting with a re-read of "My Lady Jane" and where I go from there I'm not 100% certain yet.  We will see how things go and you'll find my full October TBR list on the side bar where it usually is! 

For now, I've gotta get back to work and actually start today's vlog! 

Love you all! 

Stay safe

-Caedy

No More Excuses

Good Morning lovelies!!! 

It is a glorious Saturday morning, and I am currently sitting outside watching my parents' four beagles run around like crazy things in the front yard.  Beside me is a copy of My Lady Jane, a tall glass of ice water, and a small bowl of strawberries with lime zest and the juice of half a lime.  It is heaven, it truly is - or at least as close to heaven as it can be without it being hideously humid already at 9am.  Yeah, welcome to Florida in July. 

Anyway, I know things have been quiet here lately, and that is mainly because I've not really had the motivation to do anything blog related, or reading related really for the last couple of months.  The only thing that had gotten posted was a blog post that was for a book tour of a dear friend of mine.  Beyond that, this trip has helped me recenter, refocus and bring myself back to where I need to be creative wise.  I've hit the reset on myself, and am currently in the process of working on a couple of writing projects that I've neglected and I've also managed to read 3 books in the time that I've been away...which were all super, super good.  I'm in the middle of a 4th book now.  :D 

If you've been following me on my youtube channel, I've been doing a few daily/weekly vlogs.  I'm still not 100% certain how I'm going to do the vlogs, I've had a lot more time to vlog here, than I usually do at home because I'm working and working and working mainly.  Othe than that, I'm just really enjoying the creative process that comes with it.  I'm not trying to do anything fancy or whatever, I'm just living my life as naturally as I can.

Things have been super chaotic and I know that when I get home things will be a bit more chaotic as well because I will be calling a recruiter about a new job and dealing with that, plus the chaos of going back to work after 10 days off...and really, really not having the desire to be there.  

I do have another blog post scheduled which will deal with current lifestyle changes that I am making, that are pushing me toward a more active, healthier version of myself.  So, there will be lots of things coming.

I think that's about all I have for the moment.  

See you soon! 

-Caedy

Review: Always Mine (St. Fleur #2) - AJ Renee

Title: Always Mine (St. Fleur #2)
Author: AJ Renee
Date(s) Read: March 26-28, 2017
Pages: 275
Format: Digital (Kindle)
Rating: 4.5

Review:

I was provided a copy of this book for review as a stop on the Blog Tour, in exchange for an honest review.  I would like to thank AJ Renee, the publisher, and Hea Book Tours for giving me the opportunity to read this book prior to its release on 3/29.

This book is the second book in the St. Fleur series and the second novel by author AJ Renee.  So far, she is two for two, when it comes to this series.  If she keeps going like this, this is easily going to become one of my favorite series, and with the number of books that I read, that is not a judgment that is passed lightly!  She is definitely one of those authors that I will always one-click to add their books to my kindle, and if I happen to have the extra money, own her books in print.

After reading her debut novel, Widower's Aura, I was definitely looking forward to the story of Linsey and Marc.  Their story is one that quickly became my favorite, the flashbacks that showed us how their attraction started and continue to grow - since Marc was best friends with Andrew, Lindsey's brother they grew up together.  However, it was the addition of the mystery and suspense that also drew me into the story.  Lindsey's stalker, and the clues and hints that are dropped so artfully throughout the story definitely help pull you in and make you want to finish it.

Oh, the chemistry between Marc and Lindsey is unmistakeable...however, I cannot count the number of times I wished I could grab them by the shoulders, shake them and yell..."USE YOUR WORDS!!!  TALK TO EACH OTHER!!" because it would no doubt make things so much easier at times. Despite their bumps in the road, I greatly enjoyed watching this couple grow, as well as the catch up with Sofia and Nick.

So, if you're looking for your next romance read with a bit of suspense and some great story telling, I definitely recommend you pick up Widower's Aura and Always Mine, plus any other books that are part of the St. Fleur series by AJ Renee.  You won't be disappointed and you might just find your next favorite read!

Blog Tour Promo: Always Mine (St. Fleur, Book #2) by AJ Renee!

ALWAYS MINE by AJ Renee
Series: St. Fleur, Book #2
Genre: Romantic Suspense
Release Date: March 28, 2017
— SYNOPSIS —

After a few years of easy, small-town living as the St. Fleur librarian, Lindsey finds herself in the middle of a love triangle gone wrong. Gifts begin arriving and in time she realizes her confusing feelings over Derek, the sweet history teacher, and Marc, the man she doesn’t remember, is the least of her troubles. Her complicated love life takes a violent turn when she learns there is a stalker watching her every move.



When Marc visited his best friend’s new home months ago, he didn’t expect to meet the first woman to awaken his desire for more since he was a teen. Too bad she’s already taken. When their shared attraction leads them to the truth, will they finally get the happily ever after they both want?



Or will her current man, his best friend, and her stalker be the nails in the coffin of their attraction?

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— EXCERPT —

“Tu casa es mi casa,” he said with his most charming smile as he took in her short, beautiful legs.



Bending forward, she gave him the best view in the house, and he nearly swallowed his tongue. Her head turned enticingly toward him, her dark brown hair falling to the other side as she rolled her eyes at him.



“Um, isn’t the saying supposed to be ‘Mi casa es tu casa’?” She snickered and straightened as she turned away.



Reaching forward before his mind could stop him, Marc gently grabbed her wrist and gave her a tug. She fell into his lap with an “oof,” and she stared at him in panic. Marc pulled her incredibly soft legs over his own, so she sat sideways. With the new position, she placed her hand on his shoulder for purchase.



“Marc?” Her breathy voice shook with confusion and anticipation.



Hearing his name roll off her lips made his blood rush straight to his groin. Her eyes widened and darkened with desire at the change.



“Si, mi cielo?” Marc’s gaze moved down to her lips. Heat flooded his body, his heart took off, and he became mesmerized by the way she pulled in her lower lip and bit down hard. A groan escaped him, and he pulled the tender flesh out of her mouth with his thumb. Marc rubbed the rosy, soft skin.



When Marc leaned forward, Lindsey asked, “What are you doing?”



Examining her face, he noticed the soft blush across her fair skin. Her light brown eyes had flecks of yellow and green, something no one would notice unless they were as close or as focused as he was. The idea of anyone else being this close to her made him crazy. A faint scar an inch long marred the delicate skin under her left eye. Most wouldn’t notice that either, but he’d been there the night she got it. His thumb swiped at it as the memory of her bumping into him as a kid while they played Ghosts in the Graveyard came to mind. Her glasses had slammed into her face, creating a gash that had luckily not required stitches.



Marc’s lips came within a breath of hers. He searched her eyes for any signs of distress and found none. His lips grazed hers at the same time a door closed in the hall.

WIDOWER'S AURA by AJ Renee
Series: St. Fleur, Book #1
Genre: Contemporary Romance with some Suspense
Release Date: August 18, 2016
— SYNOPSIS —

Living in a world full of colors, Sofia Brazier escapes a career gone south as a juvenile probation officer in New Orleans. After moving to the small town of St. Fleur, Sofia opens a photography business in hopes of ridding her life of all the dark auras surrounding the damaged souls she once tried helping. Her comfortable new life is upended when widower, and ex-security-forces-turned-handyman hunk, Noah Tyler enters the local pub.



Noah attempts to avoid the voluptuous beauty who has captivated his every thought. That is, until his daughter vandalizes Sofia’s building and effectively seals their fate. After cutting his daughter a break, Sofia begins tearing down the walls he built after his wife’s death.



Just when life finally seems worth living for Noah, Sofia finds herself the victim of a string of crimes. Can he protect Sofia when he failed to protect his own wife?

ADD THE BOOK TO YOUR TBR ON GOODREADS

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— ABOUT THE AUTHOR: AJ RENEE —

Author to Widower’s Aura, Always Mine, and Finding love at the falls.... I’m a military wife and mother to three girls seven and under. Prior to these roles I lived in Florida where I attended the University of Central Florida. I received my Masters of Science in Criminal Justice and Bachelors of Science in Psychology. A decade later and I haven’t used either.

Writing a book was never a goal of mine, funny how life works out sometimes. I thought I would work for one of the many agencies that specialize in justice. Instead I decided to focus on a family once we married.

When I’m not shuttling my daughters around, you can find me at my laptop. I hope you enjoy my books as much as I enjoyed writing them.

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Happy Sunday Loves!

Hello, lovelies! 

So, if you've seen my youtube video with my Feb 2017 TBR on it, you know what's on this list.  However, it has been altered slightly!  As I've read some of them.  (please ignore the lack of update on the TBR sidebar over there...I'm getting to it).  I've already read a handful of books on this list.  Including just recently finishing "The Kept Woman" by Karin Slaughter. 

My next book of choice is probably going to be "Small Great Things" by Jodi Picoult, and I believe this will be my first novel by her, so I'm kind of excited.  I've also got a few reviews that I plan on getting up this week, as I've finished a couple of NetGalley books so far this year and I need to get those reviews up.  

This past week, I do apologize for my radio silence.  I have been super busy getting ready for the 5k that I participated in yesterday morning.  It was a major endorphin rush, and I am kinda addicted to it now.  I came in under an hour, which makes me kinda happy, I'm not as good as some that have participated in this countless times and run a lot more than I do at this point - my official time was 53:46, not bad for 3.1 miles.  I did walk quite a bit of it, but even still, I got my steps and my exercise for the day and I did spend most of yesterday in recovery mode which I needed.  

I did learn a few things, and I am currently working on saving up for some decent running shoes, tank and long sleeves for running, as well as a new sports bra with support because I am quite a bit top heavy and need the support.  

Finish line!  This is honestly the picture I am the proudest of.  It was taken after I crossed the finish line, with my finisher medal.  I am definitely looking forward to next year's Blue and Grey 5k, and I hope to have lost a bit more weight and will definitely be working on my training as well as increasing my endurance so maybe I can shave quite a bit off my time and run a bit more of the track than I did this year.  Not bad for my first ever 5k and crossing something off my bucket list.  

I think that's about all I've got for you today!  <3 

See you soon! 

The End is Close

In six days I will be participating in my first 5k. I am both nervous and excited.  I know that it will be challenging,  I won't be running the whole thing,  but I will be running some of it.  I am not in the shape I wanted to be for the event,  but it is too late now. 

I will maybe vlog some of it,  I haven't decided yet. Though there will be a vlog of things this weekend since it is the Olustee festival here in town. That means craft fair and all sorts of things,  and hopefully I will be able to get something small to send to a teacher in France for her class. 

I have a new bullet journal video to film soon now that I have my new LT1917 as well as my new fine nib fountain pen.  Matching colors too. 

I don't really have a whole lot left to talk about today. 

I am almost done with Blood Vow by J.R. Ward and I am also going to be starting a book on my kindle that I cannot think of the title of.  I have 3 reviews that will hopefully be out this week. 

WLW: Random Lovely Things

Hello lovelies! 

Renovations are complete, they were complete on Saturday, but I've been using the time to attempt to recenter myself and bring back the calming energy that seemed to have vanished for the duration of the time my house was in chaos.  So, let's get back into the swing of things! 

Anyway, today's wish list includes a few things that support fantastic causes, some books that I want, and also a few supplies for my bullet journal, because you know my wishlist wouldn't be complete without supplies for my bullet journal!

The #GirlLove Rafiki is high up on my wish list.  It was created by Lilly Singh, aka iiSuperwomanii.  This project, which began on her birthday last year, was inspired by her trip to Kenya.  Each bracelet sold helps to fund education for girls in Kenya.  At $15 it is super affordable, I just have to find the extra funds to get it.  I'm loving the design and the fact that it helps to give young girls an education that they so desperately need is just a bonus to owning this absolutely wonderful bracelet, that is actually handmade by a woman in Kenya.  If you want to purchase one for yourself, you can find them here.

I am by far and away in love with anything Studio Ghibli, but My Neighbor Totoro is by far my all time favorite (Sorry Spirited Away...just kidding you'll always be my #1).  I want a snuggly little Totoro to cuddle up with because he is just so totally adorable.  This one is $10 on Poshmark and I am seriously considering ordering him when I get paid.  If you want this lovable little guy you can find him here.

If you've seen my bullet journal or yesterday's video you know by now, that I am totally in love with Washi tape, and well...my WLW wouldn't be complete without some washi.  These are on my wishlist through AliExpress, and I totally love it.  I don't mind waiting a few weeks for it because usually, I forget that I've ordered from them until it shows up in my mailbox :D  If you want to see these patterns or other that are offered from them you can go here.

I think that's all I got for you this week! <3 

See you next time! 

Bullet Journaling and Me: My Essentials & Favorites

Anyone that knows me, knows that I have started bullet journaling.  This is something that is very, very near and dear to my heart, and I am honestly so very, very thankful for this simple system created by Ryder Caroll.  It is forgiving.  It is simple.  it is 100% customizable to the individual needs.

I have only been bullet journaling since August of 2015, but it has become such an important part of my daily routines that I am feeling less anxious, less depressed - that's not to say that it is a cure-all for these particular things.  It is saying that it helps ease my own anxiety and depression - because I force myself to focus on certain things and not focus on others.  In the nearly five months that I have been doing this, I have come across some of my favorite things that are ALWAYS with me when I work on creating new things in my bullet journal when I update things and all sorts of things like that.  I'm going to share with you some of my favorites. (Yes, I know there are already hundreds of blog posts and videos like this but this is -my- list and there is only one like it.)

Anyway! Let's get onto the list! Each item in the list will link to my favorite items that I use when I work in my bullet journal.  Additional links will be found at the bottom of this list.  Also, check out the video on my youtube channel where you can see my washi collection as well as a few other items. 

1. A Notebook. 

Seriously, any kind of notebook will work for this.  Cheap spiral bound notebook, cheap composition book (ruled or graph).  I started with a simple sketchbook and when I ran out of pages in that one, switched to a Leuchtturm1917 dotted notebook - which I promptly fell in love with.  Eventually, I think I do want to purchase the official Bullet Journal edition of the Leuchtturm1917 from the official site.  If you are sure you are going to keep up with it, or not sure you want to drop $20 on a notebook, then go with something more affordable and just have fun with it.  Don't stress on the book that you are using because that will take all the fun out of it - trust me. 

2. A Pen. 

Anything from a cheap ballpoint pen to a fancy fountain pen.  That is all you really need to go with your notebook.  I, however, have been using anything from rollerball gel pens to my fountain pen, to Staedtler fineliners and Micron pens in mine. I also have a set of cheap brush pens, Crayola markers, colored pencils, and some simple highlighters that I've used in mine as of late.  

Those are literally all the essential things that you need for Bullet Journaling.  A notebook and a pen, that's all.  The simple system is easily modified and you can customize it to whatever you need it for.  

The next set of things are some of my absolute FAVORITE things to include in my spreads in my bullet journal, and I think that is just because I'm not partial to the minimalist style of bullet journaling.  I blame the fact that I used to scrapbook (and still do kinda).  

1. Washi Tape

This decorative tape comes in various sizes and thousands upon thousands of different prints. There are check boxes, days of the week, holidays, animations, cutesy things, and so many other things that are printed on these tapes.  There are cloth varieties and some that are more of a slick surfaced tape. They can be written on (usually with a Sharpie marker).  

2. Stickers

I have always been obsessed with stickers.  All varieties, shapes, and sizes.  Various themes.  Letters.  Numbers.  Fancy ones, plain ones.  I just like adding them as little touches of color and uniqueness throughout my spreads.  I might even base a weekly theme off a certain set of stickers (or I have been known to do such for washi tape as well).  There are so many options when it comes to using stickers, but ultimately they are not necessary, but an additional thing you can add to your journal. 

3. Ruler or Geometry kit (yes, think the one you had to buy for school).

Rulers and things like protractors and things are NOT a necessity, however, if you wish to include things like mood mandalas, or you are incapable of drawing a straight line (even with the help of a ruler *raises hand*) then you might want to invest in something to help you ensure that your lines are straight or you can get circles perfect.  

Again, just know that you don't need anything super expensive to bullet journal.  Don't let those people with fancy, intricate spreads in their journals discourage you.  You don't even have to add color or anything like that to your journal.  Minimalist journals have just as pleasing as an aesthetic as the colorful ones. It is all a matter of what -you- want your journal to be.  As long as it is useful and designed to your needs that is all that matters.  

Let me know some of your favorite bullet journal supplies! I am also welcome to recommendations of things I should tryout in mine! 

Bye for now! 

Tuesday Thoughts: Random Stream of My Day

As I sit here, about the halfway point through my day, working on this post, I find myself wondering why I do what I do.  Why do I put so much work on my shoulders?  Keeping up a social media presence, writing in the community that I do, vlogging and filming videos (which I am not all that good at) and even keeping up this blog and various other things involved with that - plus my day job.  

That is how I've felt more often than not.  That everything is too much and those are most often the times when I go the quietest - maybe one post a month if I can manage that at all.  So far, this month has been pretty good and I've managed to keep up with everything, but I know that won't always be the case and it is those months, those times that I need to prepare for, because I can never know when they are going to hit and I'll not feel like doing anything.  Hell, I've already missed about 3-4 posts this month because of a whole lot of other reasons.  I need to find that motivation to push myself to actually sit down and write a blog post, write a review, or film that video for my youtube channel, or actually make that vlog.  Hell, I'm still sitting on a vlog from sometime last week that I still need to edit and upload to my channel.  

I am hoping to edit the vlog now that the renovations are done for today, I am hoping that close to the time I get home from work tomorrow this crap is done until further notice and I can actually relax because otherwise, I am not going to be happy.   Much like Dean up in that middle gif I will probably feel way too overwhelmed and tell someone to die in a fire. Yeah, because I've got little to no patience for this anymore, not with the landlord making changes at the last minute. 

So, while dinner is working I am listening to some Bob Marley and attempting to get back into a headspace where I can use the rest of my evening productively.  I might even consider going for a walk/run and eating dinner after - but I need to feed everyone else first.  Or I might just do some little bits of yoga before I go to bed and call it a night.  It's been a hell of a day, and I have a headache that the meds are not really touching due to the hammering happening literally right on the other side of the wall my desk is against.

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this blog post up and go check on dinner and figure out what the hell I'm going to do for the rest of my evening.  Probably some House of Cards on Netflix and getting a few reviews prepped to go up this week, as well as editing that vlog.

Chaos Thy Name is Renovation

No, seriously, the above gif is literally how I have felt for the past two weeks.  My landlord and the handyman have been here off and on throughout the last two weeks working on a couple of renovation projects in the house.  Yeah, couple.  Simultaneously.  2 bathrooms, both getting new toilets, one getting new flooring, new light fixture, and hopefully that will be the end of it until the landlord decides to come back and finish painting the hallway, change the lightbulb in the hallway, and then later this summer work on the bedrooms one at a time to rip up the carpet, replace the flooring and paint the walls.  Oh yeah, I'm seriously looking forward to all of that in the middle of a Florida summer!  NOT.

Beyond that, that's why I've been quiet for the last few weekends because that's when they've been coming in to do most of the work and I honestly spend most of the time curled up in my room with headphones on and music blaring and my nose in a book. 

My current read has been flipping through The Collected Poems of Audre Lorde which I devoured in about one sitting.  I'm attempting to mark some of my favorites before it has to go back to the library, and this is definitely a book that I need to add to my own personal collection because her work is absolutely fantastic.  I've also recently finished Warriors 1 which is an anthology edited by George R.R. Martin as well as The Invasion of the Tearling by Erika Johansen.  I will have reviews of those coming, I've also recently read another collection of poetry that I'm greatly in love with, The Princess Saves Herself in this One, by Amanda Lovelace, which I got through Netgalley.  

I also have 2 books from Netgalley that I will be getting to within the next week or so because I want to get the reviews up and ready before their publication dates.  Which reminds me, I need to update my information with Netgalley.  I also have several books out from the library that I need to get to both physical and digital so there will be lots and lots of reading happening! 

Here is the current list of books that I will be plowing my way through within the next 3-4 weeks (in no particular order): 

1. Blood Vow - J.R. Ward

2. Commonwealth - Anne Patchett

3. The Kept Woman - Karin Slaughter

4. Small Great Things - Jodi Picoult

5. In Other Words - Jhumpa Lahiri

6. A Spy in the House - Y. S. Lee

7. The Declaration - Gemma Malley

8. The Bone Witch - Rin Chupeco

9. The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett - Chelsea Sedoti

10. The Wicked + The Divine: The Faust Act 

11. The Wicked + The Divine: Fandemonium

12. Tokyo Ghoul: Vol 1

13. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

Only a handful of these are digital books, the rest are physical copies.  I'm looking forward to pretty much all of them (I've read To Kill a Mockingbird before, it's been awhile, though).  I also have a few reviews that I'm in the process of working on, and hopefully, will have lots more posted for you this week.

Time to get busy! 

-Caedy

Thankful Thursday: Little Things

Hello lovelies!!!  I hope you had a good day!  Mine as usual had its ups and downs mainly because I had to work today and then there was grocery shopping.  That is always a tax on me mentally because it means that I am out and dealing with people longer and ultimately it means that my paycheck goes away or rather what isn't meant for bills goes away. 

However,  today I am thankful for the little things. A child's laughter,  a friend offering an ear,  conversations about random things with a stranger that is now an awesome unicorn in my book.  Also,  the highlight of my day was the visit from Ronald McDonald at work today.  This guy is definitely perfect for the role.  I even got my picture with him too. 

I am still definitely in the market for a new job.  Though I am very thankful that I do have a job that helps me be able to provide for myself as well as those I live with. It is not the best job and I do not make the most money,  but I do have that source of income. 

Alright,  it is time for some Beat Bobby Flay and then head to bed. 

Night lovelies. 

-Caedy

Tuesday Thoughts: Lazy days

Today was my day off,  the only one I will have until Sunday.  I had a small list of things that I wanted to get done and I got some of it done.  What I didn't get done will be finished tomorrow morning before work.  There will be a new vlog going live in the morning and there will be a blog post tomorrow too. 

I need to focus on my reviews because I have let them fall to the wayside and they have built up so much.  So I am hoping to get at least 2-3 reviews a week up with maybe a few extra as back up. 

Sorry today's post is so short am achy and my meds are kicking in. 

Good night lovelies!!!

Till tomorrow.

Sunday Reflections: The Search for Positivity

This past week has put a lot of things in perspective, including the fact that I am someone who seriously needs to start focusing on the positive things in my life.  I need to be more grateful, more thankful, and more concerned with making myself happy and keeping myself that way.  I need to start cutting out the negativity and negative influences and people in my life, cutting out the toxic and start focusing on surrounding myself with people who want to see me grow, see me flourish and strive to leave a more positive impact on the world. 

Last week was rough all around, and in all honesty, I know not every day can be filled with rainbows and unicorns, but that doesn't mean that I can't find something positive that happens each and every day.  I have mentioned before in a previous post that I spend time every day considering the entries that go into my gratitude log each day for every month.  That is a big, big part of my evening routine.  I am thinking of maybe adding a RAK (Random Act of Kindness) tracker to my bullet journal each week and maybe do at least 3 RAKs a week - that don't usually cost too much money.  I will have to think about what I could add to the trackers, maybe keep some of them the same and change out a few ideas.  What ideas do you have to add to a RAK list? 

I spent most of today just zoning out and allowing my body to reboot from the absolute chaos that I've been dealing with.  Even this evening, I know there are things I should be doing, however, they are not important to bringing some peace to my cluttered mental state at the moment.  I am thinking, however, that I will be changing my bedsheets before I go to bed - something fresh for me to curl upon.  Or maybe I will change them tomorrow since I think it has been a couple of weeks since I put the sage ones on.  

Anyway, I do have a new vlog up on my youtube channel - it is from last Wednesday, something short.  I still have the one from Friday to edit and that one will hopefully *fingers crossed* go up on Tuesday because I'm going to sit and edit it tomorrow after work.  

I think that might be all I have for you today without getting into too much personal crap that is really not suitable for the blog or the vlog.  So, I'm going to toss my headphones on with some meditation sounds and go do a little bit of meditation.  Have a fantastic day and I'll see you for Tuesday's post! 

-Caedy

Two for One...WLW and Thankful Thurs

I have legitimately been all over the place this week emotion wise.  This week has been physically and mentally draining for me.  I had two days where my anxiety was pretty much at peak levels for most of the day...though the worst of the two days was Tuesday.  Wednesday the anxiety didn't kick in until the afternoon and I somehow managed to keep that particular anxiety attack low-key which is a first for me.  Though, I am still not thrilled that I have had two major anxiety attacks in the past week - the first was the most awakening if you can call it that.  Mainly because it was concerning my health care, and ultimately what having the new administration do to potentially strip me of my health care - coupled with the fact that I was struggling to find a doctor that would see me (since my original assigned PCP was booked solid for new patients until late April or early May).  Ultimately I found a new doctor, and I'd gone to see him Wednesday morning, and he's actually really, really nice.  I am glad that I made the choice to go to him, and quite glad that the office is legit like a 10 min walk from my house.


This weekend I seriously hope to get quite a few things done including finally getting around to filming my bullet journal faves youtube video, not sure when it will go up, but I at least want to get it filmed so I can start editing it.  I also have to edit the vlog for this week - which I will probably do either tonight or tomorrow and get that up Sunday.  I am considering starting to vlog every day, but I don't know we'll see what happens.  My life really, really isn't that interesting and I dunno.  However, I've found that just randomly vlogging has helped calm me down when I feel things starting to go kinda in a direction I don't like. 


I am thankful for the ways that I can express myself in this journey that is life.  The fact that I can cover so many things in different ways is something that makes my heart smile, and now if I can just stop procrastinating and start being more productive I will definitely be a lot happier. 


Also, I am working on getting myself in shape - I am thinking I might kick my C25K back into gear and do a little bit of a workout this afternoon, or at least do something inside since it's starting to get hot AF outside right now.  The joys of living in Florida in January...when the weather isn't being a bipolar hot mess.  Though we are supposed to get rain all weekend so chances are most of my workouts will be done inside...meh, I can live with that.  I also need to figure out my meal prep for next week and get that going. I don't know my schedule yet because it isn't freaking done...I am honestly hoping that it is up by the time I leave work tomorrow at 2, but I'm not going to hold my breath.  I might end up taking a walk up to work on Sunday to try and get my schedule.


As for my wish list items this week, they are all stationery related.


I am looking for stationery sets.  Goulet Pens has some that I am seriously contemplating getting when I have the extra money to splurge.   However, I'm also looking for some cheaper ones that I can use for writing to my pen pals.  It doesn't have to be super quality paper or anything like that - lately I've been using the stationery that I have had in my scrapbooking box for ever and that was purchased in the printer paper section of Wal-Mart years ago.  So, what are some of your favorite stationery goodies?


Thankful Thursday, I think I covered that a couple of paragraphs up.  I am hoping that I can continue to find the light in each day and continue to add a little bit of myself to those that I come across.  Please be kind to one another and remember that you don't know the fight that someone else is fighting - a smile and a kind word goes a long way. 


I think that's all I have for today, so I'm going to leave you with two of my favorite songs.  I have listened to these songs on repeat a couple of times on some of my bad days, and some of the days that I've been dealing with things that I can't entirely figure out and ultimately they have helped me realize that I am the biggest and strongest driving force in making the changes I want to happen in my life.

Tuesday Thoughts: Anxiety Can Kiss My Butt

A post on the go today because typing on a regular keyboard is killing my hands.  I am currently in my brace because my neuropathy is flaring badly. 

This however is not the main part of my anxiety at this point in time.  No, today's anxiety attack is cause by attempting to find a doctor that I can get into like as soon as possible.  I need to get into a doctor because I am almost out of my nerve medication.  Without it I will spend most of my days in pain and be nearly useless because I cannot function when my hands are on fire and I cannot hold things. 

My day started easily enough when I started making phone calls.  The first place I called it took 40 min to get through and then I get told that they only do same day appointments and we're booked for today and I could try back tomorrow.  Then I called the original PCP that I had been assigned to and they we're booked for new patients straight through till April or May.  This is not acceptable as I am out of meds come Wednesday or Thursday if I ration. 
Mind you at this point I have changed my PCP to a new one at the health department.  So I call them and ultimately find out that the PCP I had been reassigned to only deals with HIV/AIDS patients and is only in the office two times a month.  So I try another office and finally find a place that got me in tomorrow morning at 1030.

I am ready to breakdown and find a therapist and get this crap dealt with.  I have spent most of the day currently edgy and snapping at people and crying for no reason.  I am exhausted and in all honesty disgusted with myself because I cannot actually deal with this anymore. 

I usually try and keep things a little less personal but this is starting to actively impact my daily life and I cannot function like this.  I need to figure this out and actually get my shit in line.  I have actually been somewhat triggery all weekend and yesterday.  Now it has pretty much been coming to a point especially because of what I had to deal with this morning. 

Now I am watching some NCIS because this is my comfort show and to be honest I have seen most of the early seasons so I don't need to really focus. 

That is about all I have for you today.  For now,  I bid you all a good evening and I will hopefully have something less serious for you tomorrow. 

Diversify Your Reading List: LGBTQ+ & POC

Right, so as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, as I identify as pansexual...though to be honest, it might be more demisexual with homoerotic tendencies...but whatever.  The only thing that tends to be straight at any given point is my hair, and as of late that's required too much effort and my straightener is broken anyway. 

Part of my goal for reading this year is to read more books that involve persons of color either as a main character or author.  I also want to read more books that focus on the LGBTQ+ community.  So, in my research, I found a couple of really good lists that I'm going to pick from as I can get the books in my hands, and see what my local library has in the way of these authors.  

Bustle: 25 Queer Authors You Absolutely Should Be Reading If You Aren't Already

This list is filled with an abundance of authors that I now want to delve into their works and learn more about them and the worlds they have created.  This list will probably be one of my go-to's for this coming year because I absolutely am enthralled by some of these books and their descriptions...and I'm a sucker for a good cover too and some of these have some awesome covers. 

Bustle: 23 LGBTQ Books With A POC Protagonist, Because It's Time To Diversify Your Reading List

Okay, for serious - I really need to read more books with a POC Protagonist, because at this point in time I cannot actually think of one book that comes to mind that I've read that has a POC protagonist in it.  Though I am rather fond of Maya Angelou's poetry, that is not quite the same thing that I'm after with reading some of the books on this list.  Must get my hands on them this year!  Definitely saving all these lists in my Pocket so I can refer to them when it is time to grab some new books.

Pride: 35 Queer Black Writers You Need To Know About

Honestly, this was one of the most eye-opening searches that I did for this particular blog post.  I also had my local library's website open and was looking for some of these authors, and the one that I found was Audre Lorde at least for the moment anyway.  I will be looking for more a bit more throughout the year.  I put in a request for a book of Audre Lorde's poetry, and I'm greatly looking forward to reading some of it because I'm absolutely in love with poetry and I do need to read some more. 

Anyway, I am also open to a lot more recommendations than are on this list.  So if you have any, please leave them in the comments below and share this blog with your friends and anyone else who loves to read and is looking to diversify their reading lists this year! 

Also, I will be hopefully adding Hanah Hart's book Buffering to my list this year, because I absolutely adore her! 

Thankful Thursday:Gratitude

For the past few months that I've been using my Bullet Journal, I have been allowing myself to reflect on things that I am thankful for.  Each month I build a Gratitude log into my monthly pages.  Spending time each day, reflecting on the things that I am most grateful for.  

Gratitude

The state of being grateful

There are days when finding something I am grateful for is trickier than others - and it's those days that I am most thankful for having a roof over my head, food to eat, and a warm bed to curl up in at night.  There are other times when what I'm grateful for might be something silly or trivial but has played some larger part in allowing me to make it through the day - such as the shot of vodka that enriched my lemonade last night or something along those lines.  

I usually attempt to fill in my gratitude log at about the same time daily, usually about the time I reflect on the bible verse that is listed as the verse of the day on my bible app.  I take time to reflect on the verse, and then I turn to my gratitude log and think about the things that I am thankful for.  This also gives me a chance to go over my day and figure out what I've done on my to-do list as well as plan out some of my tasks for the next day.  

That is how I've ended my day pretty much every day for the past 6 months (with the exception of a small handful where I was sick, or ended up not truly having the focus to deal with anything because of various factors).  However, those days that I've missed, I've always used time the following day to reflect and fill out the previous day to ensure that my log is always as complete as I can make it.  Many of the days might have more than one thing on it, other days might have only one thing, it all depends on what items stand out to me the most that require a specific marking on my gratitude log. 

On that note, I'm going to end this post and fill out my gratitude log for today and begin my evening routine.  

Have a wonderful rest of your day and a fantastic Friday! 

-Caedy

Wishlist Wednesday: Jan 2017 Releases

There are loads of books coming out this month and I'm absolutely looking forward to all of them!  Seriously!  I want them all and I want them now!  Gimme!  

Ahem...I mean, now I'm done channeling my inner Varuka from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  Let me share with you the fantastic books that I want to get my hands on this month! 

The final book in the Fever series by Karen Marie Moning.  I am anxious and a bit saddened that this series will be over so soon.  However, I have absolutely loved every single pulse-pounding moment of this series.  I cannot wait to see what conclusion has been crafted for MacKayla Lane and Jerricho Barrons.  This one hits shelves on Jan 17th and I must have it! 

This book is the first book in a new series by Veronica Roth.  This one, I'm a bit critical going into it, however, I am looking forward to it.  It is touted as a book that will appeal to Star Wars and Divergent fans so we will see how this shapes up.  I did enjoy the Divergent series, and I am a Star Wars fan.  I am willing to give it a chance, and eventually, I will be offering my own review on this book.  It just might take some time.  This one will hit shelves on Jan 17th. 

City of Saints & Thieves! This cover is absolutely eye catching and totally makes me a sucker for wanting this book.  Well, to be honest, I'm looking forward to the story that's written on the pages as well!  This thriller is set in Kenya and involves a girl who essentially doesn't exist. She attempts to figure out who killed her mother and it takes time before she ultimately begins to find out what she has been waiting for.  This one will hit the shelves on Jan 24th. 

This is a story about a landmark civil rights case that allow for marriage between races.  Richard and Mildred Loving were the subjects of this civil rights case.  They faced discrimination, hatred, ultimately their love won and interracial marriages were legalized.  This story will hit shelves on Jan 31st. 

What books are you looking forward to this month?