Tuesday Thoughts: Random Stream of My Day

As I sit here, about the halfway point through my day, working on this post, I find myself wondering why I do what I do.  Why do I put so much work on my shoulders?  Keeping up a social media presence, writing in the community that I do, vlogging and filming videos (which I am not all that good at) and even keeping up this blog and various other things involved with that - plus my day job.  

That is how I've felt more often than not.  That everything is too much and those are most often the times when I go the quietest - maybe one post a month if I can manage that at all.  So far, this month has been pretty good and I've managed to keep up with everything, but I know that won't always be the case and it is those months, those times that I need to prepare for, because I can never know when they are going to hit and I'll not feel like doing anything.  Hell, I've already missed about 3-4 posts this month because of a whole lot of other reasons.  I need to find that motivation to push myself to actually sit down and write a blog post, write a review, or film that video for my youtube channel, or actually make that vlog.  Hell, I'm still sitting on a vlog from sometime last week that I still need to edit and upload to my channel.  

I am hoping to edit the vlog now that the renovations are done for today, I am hoping that close to the time I get home from work tomorrow this crap is done until further notice and I can actually relax because otherwise, I am not going to be happy.   Much like Dean up in that middle gif I will probably feel way too overwhelmed and tell someone to die in a fire. Yeah, because I've got little to no patience for this anymore, not with the landlord making changes at the last minute. 

So, while dinner is working I am listening to some Bob Marley and attempting to get back into a headspace where I can use the rest of my evening productively.  I might even consider going for a walk/run and eating dinner after - but I need to feed everyone else first.  Or I might just do some little bits of yoga before I go to bed and call it a night.  It's been a hell of a day, and I have a headache that the meds are not really touching due to the hammering happening literally right on the other side of the wall my desk is against.

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this blog post up and go check on dinner and figure out what the hell I'm going to do for the rest of my evening.  Probably some House of Cards on Netflix and getting a few reviews prepped to go up this week, as well as editing that vlog.

Tuesday Thoughts: Lazy days

Today was my day off,  the only one I will have until Sunday.  I had a small list of things that I wanted to get done and I got some of it done.  What I didn't get done will be finished tomorrow morning before work.  There will be a new vlog going live in the morning and there will be a blog post tomorrow too. 

I need to focus on my reviews because I have let them fall to the wayside and they have built up so much.  So I am hoping to get at least 2-3 reviews a week up with maybe a few extra as back up. 

Sorry today's post is so short am achy and my meds are kicking in. 

Good night lovelies!!!

Till tomorrow.

Tuesday Thoughts: Anxiety Can Kiss My Butt

A post on the go today because typing on a regular keyboard is killing my hands.  I am currently in my brace because my neuropathy is flaring badly. 

This however is not the main part of my anxiety at this point in time.  No, today's anxiety attack is cause by attempting to find a doctor that I can get into like as soon as possible.  I need to get into a doctor because I am almost out of my nerve medication.  Without it I will spend most of my days in pain and be nearly useless because I cannot function when my hands are on fire and I cannot hold things. 

My day started easily enough when I started making phone calls.  The first place I called it took 40 min to get through and then I get told that they only do same day appointments and we're booked for today and I could try back tomorrow.  Then I called the original PCP that I had been assigned to and they we're booked for new patients straight through till April or May.  This is not acceptable as I am out of meds come Wednesday or Thursday if I ration. 
Mind you at this point I have changed my PCP to a new one at the health department.  So I call them and ultimately find out that the PCP I had been reassigned to only deals with HIV/AIDS patients and is only in the office two times a month.  So I try another office and finally find a place that got me in tomorrow morning at 1030.

I am ready to breakdown and find a therapist and get this crap dealt with.  I have spent most of the day currently edgy and snapping at people and crying for no reason.  I am exhausted and in all honesty disgusted with myself because I cannot actually deal with this anymore. 

I usually try and keep things a little less personal but this is starting to actively impact my daily life and I cannot function like this.  I need to figure this out and actually get my shit in line.  I have actually been somewhat triggery all weekend and yesterday.  Now it has pretty much been coming to a point especially because of what I had to deal with this morning. 

Now I am watching some NCIS because this is my comfort show and to be honest I have seen most of the early seasons so I don't need to really focus. 

That is about all I have for you today.  For now,  I bid you all a good evening and I will hopefully have something less serious for you tomorrow. 

Tuesday Thoughts: Books and BuJo

Current status! 

No, seriously, I'm furiously typing and attempting to get loads of content up for this week.  I've got a couple days off and that means filming (If I'm lucky) and getting a heads up on some of my blog posts, as well as hopefully getting a few things done around the house that need to get done...I won't bore you with the list, but they are things like laundry and coloring my hair and things like that.

Anyway, as you can tell from the title, my thoughts today are on books and bullet journals! These two things are pretty much my life as of late, as well as my music which I've been completely absorbed in the last few days when I'm not binge watching things on Netlfix (yeah, I'm shameless like that...Oh, Shameless...that's a good show, need to watch more of it! Later >.>).

I figured I would share a few of my favorite Bookstagram and BuJo Instagram accounts! I know you'll love em, and you should definitely give them a follow...as well as follow mine, which can be found below. 

My Instagram

My new bookcase. Need more than one but this is a start and I have my favorites on display. At least some of them. #bookcase #shelfie #sunday #organizing #books #bookaddict #reader #allthethings

A photo posted by Caedy (@caedy) on Dec 11, 2016 at 8:53am PST

Favorite Bookstagram Accounts

These are just a couple of my favorites, but if you look through #bookstagram #bookstagrammer hashtags on Instagram you will find a wealth of others that are absolutely fantastic!  No, seriously, check them out! 

Got so much snow today and I'm just not having it. I miss going outside everyday to take bookish pictures. Now, the weather is uncomfortable. 😞 I want Spring to come already. | #bookstagram #readersofinstagram #bibliophile #igreads #booksofinstagram #bookworm #bookdragon #bookphotography #bookish #booklr #vscobooks #goodreads |

A photo posted by w e n d y (@suburbiareads) on Jan 9, 2017 at 6:07pm PST

The reading challenge is on! My goal is to read 50 books this year. Last year I read 40, it's time to step it up. In fact, today I just finished "The Lost World" by Michael Crichton. I can't lie I enjoy the scientific dialogue and questions concerning life, the universe and everything. What are you reading this week?

A photo posted by Angela J. Ford (@aford21) on Jan 9, 2017 at 6:41pm PST

Favorite BuJo Instagrams

By far one of my favorite spreads in my #BulletJournal last month! Kim @tinyrayofsunshine inspired me to start logging my gratitude over a year ago, and I just love how the practice has evolved since then. - It's great to look back on, and even more so when times are tough. Approaching life daily with gratitude has been such a mindset shift and a huge part of my personal development over the past couple of years. I find myself looking at the world through new eyes, constantly on the search for new things to be grateful for each and every day ☺ - #bulletjournal #bohoberrytribe #leuchtturm1917 #wearebujo #tombowdualbrushpens #gratitude #attitudeofgratitude #miraclemorning

A photo posted by Kara 🌸 Boho Berry (@boho.berry) on Jan 7, 2017 at 1:52pm PST

Y el cartero llamó a mi puerta para traerme mi nueva leuchtturm ❤️

A photo posted by Study Tips (@mylittlejournalblog) on Jan 9, 2017 at 5:57am PST

Zoom in 🔍 #bulletjournal #bujo #bulletjournaljunkies #bulletjournaling #bulletjournals #bujojunkies #bulletjournalcommunity #planneraddict #bulletjournallove #planner #bujoinspire #plannercommunity #bujolove #notebook #bujoaddict #studygram #bujocommunity #studyblr #showmeyourplanner #leuchtturm1917 #lettering #journal #bulletjournalnewbie #planning #plannerlove #handwriting #handlettering #bulletjournalitalia #study #stationary

A photo posted by A planner addicted Girl 🇮🇹❤ (@mybujostory) on Jan 10, 2017 at 5:36am PST

Okay, so if you've followed me this far, thank you so much!  These are a few of my favorite Instagram accounts and I figured I would share some of them with you today.  They are where I get some of my inspirations from, especially the Boho Berry account.  Kara's stuff is absolutely amazeballs and I adore her so very much! 

Anyway, I think I'm going to wrap up this blog and get to work on a few other things I've got planned to go live today!  Love you all! 

Goal for today - dealing with those personal deadlines like a bawse! 

Tuesday's Thoughts

Hello lovelies!!  Welcome to a wonderful Tuesday (wonderful in that I have a day off and it's blissfully gloomy and rainy outside, which means that I've done nothing but nap and read all day!).  I also happened to do a thing.  A little thing, but it gets my youtube channel up and running with my first video!  The quality is not the best, but I'm still working out the kinks and getting familiar with my editing software.  

So, it was a fun thing to do while I was out the other day (filmed before I'd realized that I was suffering from strep throat and not just a cold).  I enjoyed the time out with my niece and I'm considering taking up vlogging in addition to my regular blogging in 2017.  We will see how that goes! 

So I've the video down below for you to check out!  Subscribe and let's get this ball rolling! 

I've already started my first two books of 2017, and I am absolutely loving each of them for different reasons.  I'm currently reading The Unbecoming of Myra Dyer by Michelle Hodkin and The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski.  Both of which fall into the Listy A to z challenge, and I am using The Unbecoming of Myra Dyer for my first book in the PopSugar 2017 Reading Challenge.  I am also doing Book Riot's Read Harder challenge.  I've even updated my reading spreadsheet to track all three of these challenges.  It will be interesting to see where my reading takes me this year.

Do you have any book recommendations that could help me fill these challenges? More authors of color that I need to read? LGBTQ+ authors that I need to read? I'm open to any and every suggestion! 

Until next time lovelies, 

Caedy