A post on the go today because typing on a regular keyboard is killing my hands. I am currently in my brace because my neuropathy is flaring badly.
This however is not the main part of my anxiety at this point in time. No, today's anxiety attack is cause by attempting to find a doctor that I can get into like as soon as possible. I need to get into a doctor because I am almost out of my nerve medication. Without it I will spend most of my days in pain and be nearly useless because I cannot function when my hands are on fire and I cannot hold things.
My day started easily enough when I started making phone calls. The first place I called it took 40 min to get through and then I get told that they only do same day appointments and we're booked for today and I could try back tomorrow. Then I called the original PCP that I had been assigned to and they we're booked for new patients straight through till April or May. This is not acceptable as I am out of meds come Wednesday or Thursday if I ration.
Mind you at this point I have changed my PCP to a new one at the health department. So I call them and ultimately find out that the PCP I had been reassigned to only deals with HIV/AIDS patients and is only in the office two times a month. So I try another office and finally find a place that got me in tomorrow morning at 1030.
I am ready to breakdown and find a therapist and get this crap dealt with. I have spent most of the day currently edgy and snapping at people and crying for no reason. I am exhausted and in all honesty disgusted with myself because I cannot actually deal with this anymore.
I usually try and keep things a little less personal but this is starting to actively impact my daily life and I cannot function like this. I need to figure this out and actually get my shit in line. I have actually been somewhat triggery all weekend and yesterday. Now it has pretty much been coming to a point especially because of what I had to deal with this morning.
Now I am watching some NCIS because this is my comfort show and to be honest I have seen most of the early seasons so I don't need to really focus.
That is about all I have for you today. For now, I bid you all a good evening and I will hopefully have something less serious for you tomorrow.
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