Tuesday Thoughts: Random Stream of My Day

As I sit here, about the halfway point through my day, working on this post, I find myself wondering why I do what I do.  Why do I put so much work on my shoulders?  Keeping up a social media presence, writing in the community that I do, vlogging and filming videos (which I am not all that good at) and even keeping up this blog and various other things involved with that - plus my day job.  

That is how I've felt more often than not.  That everything is too much and those are most often the times when I go the quietest - maybe one post a month if I can manage that at all.  So far, this month has been pretty good and I've managed to keep up with everything, but I know that won't always be the case and it is those months, those times that I need to prepare for, because I can never know when they are going to hit and I'll not feel like doing anything.  Hell, I've already missed about 3-4 posts this month because of a whole lot of other reasons.  I need to find that motivation to push myself to actually sit down and write a blog post, write a review, or film that video for my youtube channel, or actually make that vlog.  Hell, I'm still sitting on a vlog from sometime last week that I still need to edit and upload to my channel.  

I am hoping to edit the vlog now that the renovations are done for today, I am hoping that close to the time I get home from work tomorrow this crap is done until further notice and I can actually relax because otherwise, I am not going to be happy.   Much like Dean up in that middle gif I will probably feel way too overwhelmed and tell someone to die in a fire. Yeah, because I've got little to no patience for this anymore, not with the landlord making changes at the last minute. 

So, while dinner is working I am listening to some Bob Marley and attempting to get back into a headspace where I can use the rest of my evening productively.  I might even consider going for a walk/run and eating dinner after - but I need to feed everyone else first.  Or I might just do some little bits of yoga before I go to bed and call it a night.  It's been a hell of a day, and I have a headache that the meds are not really touching due to the hammering happening literally right on the other side of the wall my desk is against.

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this blog post up and go check on dinner and figure out what the hell I'm going to do for the rest of my evening.  Probably some House of Cards on Netflix and getting a few reviews prepped to go up this week, as well as editing that vlog.

Christmas: The Aftermath

Merry Christmas! 

I hope you all got what you asked for and enjoyed your time with family and friends. 
I had a fantastic day and ate way too much food.  However, as the day wore on it became apparent that I was a sick monkey.  Yeah this sucks. 

I didn't put a cold on my wish list for Santa and yet...here I am all congested and snotty and miserable.  Oh and did I mention that I have to work tomorrow?  Yeah I am already over it.  I am ready for a day off to recover from this crap as well as  from Christmas itself. 

I will hopefully have a blog post with more substance for you tomorrow or it may wait until Tuesday.. I haven't decided yet. 

For now... Good night all!!!

Load of warm fuzzies for you!!!!

-Caedy

What the What?

This is pretty much me staring the end of 2016 in the face.   No, seriously.  I literally have no chill for anything else to go wrong this close to the end of the year.  None whatsoever.  Rest assured, I am fully intending on entering 2017 with positivity and good thoughts.  I have every intention of crossing several things off my bucket list next year, as well as ensuring that my year is filled with productivity, positivity, and appreciation of self. 

Too long have I found myself in situations where I have had to say no, however, instead of being willing to put my own well being ahead of others I agree to whatever it is.  Which ultimately leads to me eventually looking at said thing as an obligation and no longer an enjoyment.  I've done this with writing more times than I can count, and I know there are others who can handle excessive loads for writing, be it reviews, or stories, or other such things and I ultimately end up burning myself out and find no enjoyment in the things that I love.  This is something that will be changing in the coming year.  I need to learn to say no to things that put my own mental well-being at risk.  I do not want to get burnt out on the things that I love, and at the same time I want to push my creative boundaries.  

Several other things will be happening that I may or may not touch on in future blogs.  For now, just know that several of the things that are going to be happening are for the benefit of my own physical and mental well being, and I am looking forward to taking these steps and rejuvenating myself in the coming year.  It's just a matter of finding those who will uplift me and support me in the things that I am attempting to do for myself. 

Normally I would reserve blog posts like this for Sunday Reflections - yes, there will be a full revision of the blog schedule going up at the start of the year.  There will be some changes, removal of a few things, addition of a few things, all of it will be made known at the start of the year.  

Now, I think I'm going to go crank up some Metallica - Moth Into Flame and dye my hair a very, very pretty deep burgundy...or I'll wait because I just cut my hand attempting to get into my chocolate orange.  Yeah, apparently this is the story of my life today...so, either way I've got Metallica in my headphones.  

Lots of love..

Caedy

Random Thoughts with Caedy

Okay, so the image says a lot about what has been on my mind for a while now.  I absolutely am over and done with my job and am in the process of looking for a new one, but I am so discouraged. I know that it will take time and I know that a good job or a better job won't just fall into my lap.

However, we have a few new stores opening up within the next 6 months and I am hoping that I can start working there and leave my current job because I don't find any joy in being there and I dread going there and the potential anxiety attacks that could come during any shift. Not to mention that I am over and one with the petty drama and bullshit that I have to deal with. Not to mention essentially being barred from a position that I am strongest in because of a medical issue that keeps me from working with cleaning chemicals.

I am staying afloat but there are days that are more difficult than others and I am working on getting some of the help that I need.

I would apologize for the negativity but this is something that I needed to get out of my system.

Now I am going to go meditate and relax for bed.

Lots of love,
Caedy