Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Tuesday Thoughts: Anxiety Can Kiss My Butt

A post on the go today because typing on a regular keyboard is killing my hands.  I am currently in my brace because my neuropathy is flaring badly. 

This however is not the main part of my anxiety at this point in time.  No, today's anxiety attack is cause by attempting to find a doctor that I can get into like as soon as possible.  I need to get into a doctor because I am almost out of my nerve medication.  Without it I will spend most of my days in pain and be nearly useless because I cannot function when my hands are on fire and I cannot hold things. 

My day started easily enough when I started making phone calls.  The first place I called it took 40 min to get through and then I get told that they only do same day appointments and we're booked for today and I could try back tomorrow.  Then I called the original PCP that I had been assigned to and they we're booked for new patients straight through till April or May.  This is not acceptable as I am out of meds come Wednesday or Thursday if I ration. 
Mind you at this point I have changed my PCP to a new one at the health department.  So I call them and ultimately find out that the PCP I had been reassigned to only deals with HIV/AIDS patients and is only in the office two times a month.  So I try another office and finally find a place that got me in tomorrow morning at 1030.

I am ready to breakdown and find a therapist and get this crap dealt with.  I have spent most of the day currently edgy and snapping at people and crying for no reason.  I am exhausted and in all honesty disgusted with myself because I cannot actually deal with this anymore. 

I usually try and keep things a little less personal but this is starting to actively impact my daily life and I cannot function like this.  I need to figure this out and actually get my shit in line.  I have actually been somewhat triggery all weekend and yesterday.  Now it has pretty much been coming to a point especially because of what I had to deal with this morning. 

Now I am watching some NCIS because this is my comfort show and to be honest I have seen most of the early seasons so I don't need to really focus. 

That is about all I have for you today.  For now,  I bid you all a good evening and I will hopefully have something less serious for you tomorrow. 

Friday, January 13, 2017

Diversify Your Reading List: LGBTQ+ & POC

Right, so as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, as I identify as pansexual...though to be honest, it might be more demisexual with homoerotic tendencies...but whatever.  The only thing that tends to be straight at any given point is my hair, and as of late that's required too much effort and my straightener is broken anyway. 

Part of my goal for reading this year is to read more books that involve persons of color either as a main character or author.  I also want to read more books that focus on the LGBTQ+ community.  So, in my research, I found a couple of really good lists that I'm going to pick from as I can get the books in my hands, and see what my local library has in the way of these authors.  

This list is filled with an abundance of authors that I now want to delve into their works and learn more about them and the worlds they have created.  This list will probably be one of my go-to's for this coming year because I absolutely am enthralled by some of these books and their descriptions...and I'm a sucker for a good cover too and some of these have some awesome covers. 

Okay, for serious - I really need to read more books with a POC Protagonist, because at this point in time I cannot actually think of one book that comes to mind that I've read that has a POC protagonist in it.  Though I am rather fond of Maya Angelou's poetry, that is not quite the same thing that I'm after with reading some of the books on this list.  Must get my hands on them this year!  Definitely saving all these lists in my Pocket so I can refer to them when it is time to grab some new books.

Honestly, this was one of the most eye-opening searches that I did for this particular blog post.  I also had my local library's website open and was looking for some of these authors, and the one that I found was Audre Lorde at least for the moment anyway.  I will be looking for more a bit more throughout the year.  I put in a request for a book of Audre Lorde's poetry, and I'm greatly looking forward to reading some of it because I'm absolutely in love with poetry and I do need to read some more. 

Anyway, I am also open to a lot more recommendations than are on this list.  So if you have any, please leave them in the comments below and share this blog with your friends and anyone else who loves to read and is looking to diversify their reading lists this year! 

Also, I will be hopefully adding Hanah Hart's book Buffering to my list this year, because I absolutely adore her! 

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Thankful Thursday:Gratitude

For the past few months that I've been using my Bullet Journal, I have been allowing myself to reflect on things that I am thankful for.  Each month I build a Gratitude log into my monthly pages.  Spending time each day, reflecting on the things that I am most grateful for.  

The state of being grateful

There are days when finding something I am grateful for is trickier than others - and it's those days that I am most thankful for having a roof over my head, food to eat, and a warm bed to curl up in at night.  There are other times when what I'm grateful for might be something silly or trivial but has played some larger part in allowing me to make it through the day - such as the shot of vodka that enriched my lemonade last night or something along those lines.  

I usually attempt to fill in my gratitude log at about the same time daily, usually about the time I reflect on the bible verse that is listed as the verse of the day on my bible app.  I take time to reflect on the verse, and then I turn to my gratitude log and think about the things that I am thankful for.  This also gives me a chance to go over my day and figure out what I've done on my to-do list as well as plan out some of my tasks for the next day.  

That is how I've ended my day pretty much every day for the past 6 months (with the exception of a small handful where I was sick, or ended up not truly having the focus to deal with anything because of various factors).  However, those days that I've missed, I've always used time the following day to reflect and fill out the previous day to ensure that my log is always as complete as I can make it.  Many of the days might have more than one thing on it, other days might have only one thing, it all depends on what items stand out to me the most that require a specific marking on my gratitude log. 

On that note, I'm going to end this post and fill out my gratitude log for today and begin my evening routine.  

Have a wonderful rest of your day and a fantastic Friday! 


Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Wishlist Wednesday: Jan 2017 Releases

There are loads of books coming out this month and I'm absolutely looking forward to all of them!  Seriously!  I want them all and I want them now!  Gimme!  

Ahem...I mean, now I'm done channeling my inner Varuka from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  Let me share with you the fantastic books that I want to get my hands on this month! 

The final book in the Fever series by Karen Marie Moning.  I am anxious and a bit saddened that this series will be over so soon.  However, I have absolutely loved every single pulse-pounding moment of this series.  I cannot wait to see what conclusion has been crafted for MacKayla Lane and Jerricho Barrons.  This one hits shelves on Jan 17th and I must have it! 

This book is the first book in a new series by Veronica Roth.  This one, I'm a bit critical going into it, however, I am looking forward to it.  It is touted as a book that will appeal to Star Wars and Divergent fans so we will see how this shapes up.  I did enjoy the Divergent series, and I am a Star Wars fan.  I am willing to give it a chance, and eventually, I will be offering my own review on this book.  It just might take some time.  This one will hit shelves on Jan 17th. 

City of Saints & Thieves! This cover is absolutely eye catching and totally makes me a sucker for wanting this book.  Well, to be honest, I'm looking forward to the story that's written on the pages as well!  This thriller is set in Kenya and involves a girl who essentially doesn't exist. She attempts to figure out who killed her mother and it takes time before she ultimately begins to find out what she has been waiting for.  This one will hit the shelves on Jan 24th. 

This is a story about a landmark civil rights case that allow for marriage between races.  Richard and Mildred Loving were the subjects of this civil rights case.  They faced discrimination, hatred, ultimately their love won and interracial marriages were legalized.  This story will hit shelves on Jan 31st. 

What books are you looking forward to this month? 

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Tuesday Thoughts: Books and BuJo

Current status! 

No, seriously, I'm furiously typing and attempting to get loads of content up for this week.  I've got a couple days off and that means filming (If I'm lucky) and getting a heads up on some of my blog posts, as well as hopefully getting a few things done around the house that need to get done...I won't bore you with the list, but they are things like laundry and coloring my hair and things like that.

Anyway, as you can tell from the title, my thoughts today are on books and bullet journals! These two things are pretty much my life as of late, as well as my music which I've been completely absorbed in the last few days when I'm not binge watching things on Netlfix (yeah, I'm shameless like that...Oh, Shameless...that's a good show, need to watch more of it! Later >.>).

I figured I would share a few of my favorite Bookstagram and BuJo Instagram accounts! I know you'll love em, and you should definitely give them a follow...as well as follow mine, which can be found below. 

My Instagram

Favorite Bookstagram Accounts

These are just a couple of my favorites, but if you look through #bookstagram #bookstagrammer hashtags on Instagram you will find a wealth of others that are absolutely fantastic!  No, seriously, check them out! 

Favorite BuJo Instagrams

A photo posted by Study Tips (@mylittlejournalblog) on

Okay, so if you've followed me this far, thank you so much!  These are a few of my favorite Instagram accounts and I figured I would share some of them with you today.  They are where I get some of my inspirations from, especially the Boho Berry account.  Kara's stuff is absolutely amazeballs and I adore her so very much! 

Anyway, I think I'm going to wrap up this blog and get to work on a few other things I've got planned to go live today!  Love you all! 

Goal for today - dealing with those personal deadlines like a bawse!