Two for One...WLW and Thankful Thurs

I have legitimately been all over the place this week emotion wise.  This week has been physically and mentally draining for me.  I had two days where my anxiety was pretty much at peak levels for most of the day...though the worst of the two days was Tuesday.  Wednesday the anxiety didn't kick in until the afternoon and I somehow managed to keep that particular anxiety attack low-key which is a first for me.  Though, I am still not thrilled that I have had two major anxiety attacks in the past week - the first was the most awakening if you can call it that.  Mainly because it was concerning my health care, and ultimately what having the new administration do to potentially strip me of my health care - coupled with the fact that I was struggling to find a doctor that would see me (since my original assigned PCP was booked solid for new patients until late April or early May).  Ultimately I found a new doctor, and I'd gone to see him Wednesday morning, and he's actually really, really nice.  I am glad that I made the choice to go to him, and quite glad that the office is legit like a 10 min walk from my house.


This weekend I seriously hope to get quite a few things done including finally getting around to filming my bullet journal faves youtube video, not sure when it will go up, but I at least want to get it filmed so I can start editing it.  I also have to edit the vlog for this week - which I will probably do either tonight or tomorrow and get that up Sunday.  I am considering starting to vlog every day, but I don't know we'll see what happens.  My life really, really isn't that interesting and I dunno.  However, I've found that just randomly vlogging has helped calm me down when I feel things starting to go kinda in a direction I don't like. 


I am thankful for the ways that I can express myself in this journey that is life.  The fact that I can cover so many things in different ways is something that makes my heart smile, and now if I can just stop procrastinating and start being more productive I will definitely be a lot happier. 


Also, I am working on getting myself in shape - I am thinking I might kick my C25K back into gear and do a little bit of a workout this afternoon, or at least do something inside since it's starting to get hot AF outside right now.  The joys of living in Florida in January...when the weather isn't being a bipolar hot mess.  Though we are supposed to get rain all weekend so chances are most of my workouts will be done inside...meh, I can live with that.  I also need to figure out my meal prep for next week and get that going. I don't know my schedule yet because it isn't freaking done...I am honestly hoping that it is up by the time I leave work tomorrow at 2, but I'm not going to hold my breath.  I might end up taking a walk up to work on Sunday to try and get my schedule.


As for my wish list items this week, they are all stationery related.


I am looking for stationery sets.  Goulet Pens has some that I am seriously contemplating getting when I have the extra money to splurge.   However, I'm also looking for some cheaper ones that I can use for writing to my pen pals.  It doesn't have to be super quality paper or anything like that - lately I've been using the stationery that I have had in my scrapbooking box for ever and that was purchased in the printer paper section of Wal-Mart years ago.  So, what are some of your favorite stationery goodies?


Thankful Thursday, I think I covered that a couple of paragraphs up.  I am hoping that I can continue to find the light in each day and continue to add a little bit of myself to those that I come across.  Please be kind to one another and remember that you don't know the fight that someone else is fighting - a smile and a kind word goes a long way. 


I think that's all I have for today, so I'm going to leave you with two of my favorite songs.  I have listened to these songs on repeat a couple of times on some of my bad days, and some of the days that I've been dealing with things that I can't entirely figure out and ultimately they have helped me realize that I am the biggest and strongest driving force in making the changes I want to happen in my life.

Reflections of a Cold Girl

This was me this morning when I woke up and looked at the temperature, simply because I have to leave the house.  I cannot stay in my pajamas all day again (much like yesterday!).  So, I know this is two days late, but I was too damn cold to function and pretty much vegged out watching things on Youtube and writing letters to my pen pals because I'd been neglecting them due to being sick and the holidays.  

I am currently in the process of doing about 6 different things (including getting ready to walk out the door) and all of them will help keep me organized and happy in the coming months...or at least I hope so :) Beyond that, I'm just dealing with life as it is thrown at me.  I'm relaxing when I can, and ultimately attempting to ensure that I am productive as possible.  

Yes, I know this is technically Sunday's blog...it's been cold and I've been achy and typing has not been my friend because of my neuropathy, which tends to settle in my left hand/wrist and make my life difficult.  I haven't even been on social media much in the last couple of days due to the fact that the cold is screwing with my productivity.  

Right now, I'm finishing this, and then working on today's blog post and a series of reviews, and then I need to actually finish setting up my bujo that is devoted to my blog.  I've bought a cheap little dollar store notebook (rather, I found one hiding in some of my stuff) and I'm turning it into my blog bullet journal.  Something a bit minimalist, though that really won't last because honestly, I am too creative to keep anything completely minimalist.  

I am still attempting to change my mindset and actively get moving and productive in this new year, but it is hard.  I know part of my problem and it is at the point where I need to stop messing around and start ensuring that I have the money for doctors appointments that I need, so I can actively start working on taking care of my mental and physical health.  It does not help that I've been feeling more run down than usual (strep throat didn't really help that feeling at all) but I've also been fighting a bit more with my anxiety and depression and those are things that I need to get under control, to the point that I need to probably start adding a symptom/trigger tracker to my bullet journal or start including triggers/symptoms that have caused an issue with my anxiety or depression so I have the notes when I finally make it to a doctors appointment. 

Anywho!  

Time for me to start getting productive, my Spotify playlist is calling my name.