Six months and six days ago forty-nine souls were taken from this world during a night of revelry, laughter, and dancing. Six months and six days ago my world was torn apart as I learned the fate of friends who had been among those slain by someone whose heart had been filled with hatred.
It has taken me six months and six days to get to this point, to any point that I can look at the list of victims - the names of strangers and the names of those that I know. Six months and six days until I could bring myself to voice them without the risk of breaking down. Six months and six days until I could bring myself to create this lasting memory of these forty-nine souls in something that is most precious to me - my Bullet Journal. This spread was my catharsis. This spread was an emotional roller coaster for me. I needed to do this for my own mental stability when it comes to this tragedy.
I had finally gotten a chance to visit Pulse when I was in Orlando this past September. I have an abundance of pictures of the memorials that were put up. I cried, I smiled, I loved the outpouring of love that has come from the community - the allies and the members of the LGBT community who frequented Pulse. The outpouring was something that warmed my heart and made this tragedy just a little bit easier to bear - however, something of the magnitude that this was is not something that will simply "go away" or be "forgotten" over time. I miss the atmosphere, the safe place that was Pulse even though I'd never gone as often as I'd liked to.
To those families who are celebrating this holiday season without their loved ones, my heart breaks for you. They will be missed. They will be remembered. These souls cannot and will not be forgotten.
