Tuesday, January 31, 2017
As I sit here, about the halfway point through my day, working on this post, I find myself wondering why I do what I do. Why do I put so much work on my shoulders? Keeping up a social media presence, writing in the community that I do, vlogging and filming videos (which I am not all that good at) and even keeping up this blog and various other things involved with that - plus my day job.
That is how I've felt more often than not. That everything is too much and those are most often the times when I go the quietest - maybe one post a month if I can manage that at all. So far, this month has been pretty good and I've managed to keep up with everything, but I know that won't always be the case and it is those months, those times that I need to prepare for, because I can never know when they are going to hit and I'll not feel like doing anything. Hell, I've already missed about 3-4 posts this month because of a whole lot of other reasons. I need to find that motivation to push myself to actually sit down and write a blog post, write a review, or film that video for my youtube channel, or actually make that vlog. Hell, I'm still sitting on a vlog from sometime last week that I still need to edit and upload to my channel.
I am hoping to edit the vlog now that the renovations are done for today, I am hoping that close to the time I get home from work tomorrow this crap is done until further notice and I can actually relax because otherwise, I am not going to be happy. Much like Dean up in that middle gif I will probably feel way too overwhelmed and tell someone to die in a fire. Yeah, because I've got little to no patience for this anymore, not with the landlord making changes at the last minute.
So, while dinner is working I am listening to some Bob Marley and attempting to get back into a headspace where I can use the rest of my evening productively. I might even consider going for a walk/run and eating dinner after - but I need to feed everyone else first. Or I might just do some little bits of yoga before I go to bed and call it a night. It's been a hell of a day, and I have a headache that the meds are not really touching due to the hammering happening literally right on the other side of the wall my desk is against.
Anyway, I'm going to wrap this blog post up and go check on dinner and figure out what the hell I'm going to do for the rest of my evening. Probably some House of Cards on Netflix and getting a few reviews prepped to go up this week, as well as editing that vlog.
No, seriously, the above gif is literally how I have felt for the past two weeks. My landlord and the handyman have been here off and on throughout the last two weeks working on a couple of renovation projects in the house. Yeah, couple. Simultaneously. 2 bathrooms, both getting new toilets, one getting new flooring, new light fixture, and hopefully that will be the end of it until the landlord decides to come back and finish painting the hallway, change the lightbulb in the hallway, and then later this summer work on the bedrooms one at a time to rip up the carpet, replace the flooring and paint the walls. Oh yeah, I'm seriously looking forward to all of that in the middle of a Florida summer! NOT.
Beyond that, that's why I've been quiet for the last few weekends because that's when they've been coming in to do most of the work and I honestly spend most of the time curled up in my room with headphones on and music blaring and my nose in a book.
My current read has been flipping through The Collected Poems of Audre Lorde which I devoured in about one sitting. I'm attempting to mark some of my favorites before it has to go back to the library, and this is definitely a book that I need to add to my own personal collection because her work is absolutely fantastic. I've also recently finished Warriors 1 which is an anthology edited by George R.R. Martin as well as The Invasion of the Tearling by Erika Johansen. I will have reviews of those coming, I've also recently read another collection of poetry that I'm greatly in love with, The Princess Saves Herself in this One, by Amanda Lovelace, which I got through Netgalley.
I also have 2 books from Netgalley that I will be getting to within the next week or so because I want to get the reviews up and ready before their publication dates. Which reminds me, I need to update my information with Netgalley. I also have several books out from the library that I need to get to both physical and digital so there will be lots and lots of reading happening!
Here is the current list of books that I will be plowing my way through within the next 3-4 weeks (in no particular order):
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Hello lovelies!!! I hope you had a good day! Mine as usual had its ups and downs mainly because I had to work today and then there was grocery shopping. That is always a tax on me mentally because it means that I am out and dealing with people longer and ultimately it means that my paycheck goes away or rather what isn't meant for bills goes away.
However, today I am thankful for the little things. A child's laughter, a friend offering an ear, conversations about random things with a stranger that is now an awesome unicorn in my book. Also, the highlight of my day was the visit from Ronald McDonald at work today. This guy is definitely perfect for the role. I even got my picture with him too.
I am still definitely in the market for a new job. Though I am very thankful that I do have a job that helps me be able to provide for myself as well as those I live with. It is not the best job and I do not make the most money, but I do have that source of income.
Alright, it is time for some Beat Bobby Flay and then head to bed.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Today was my day off, the only one I will have until Sunday. I had a small list of things that I wanted to get done and I got some of it done. What I didn't get done will be finished tomorrow morning before work. There will be a new vlog going live in the morning and there will be a blog post tomorrow too.
I need to focus on my reviews because I have let them fall to the wayside and they have built up so much. So I am hoping to get at least 2-3 reviews a week up with maybe a few extra as back up.
Sorry today's post is so short am achy and my meds are kicking in.
Good night lovelies!!!
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Last week was rough all around, and in all honesty, I know not every day can be filled with rainbows and unicorns, but that doesn't mean that I can't find something positive that happens each and every day. I have mentioned before in a previous post that I spend time every day considering the entries that go into my gratitude log each day for every month. That is a big, big part of my evening routine. I am thinking of maybe adding a RAK (Random Act of Kindness) tracker to my bullet journal each week and maybe do at least 3 RAKs a week - that don't usually cost too much money. I will have to think about what I could add to the trackers, maybe keep some of them the same and change out a few ideas. What ideas do you have to add to a RAK list?
I spent most of today just zoning out and allowing my body to reboot from the absolute chaos that I've been dealing with. Even this evening, I know there are things I should be doing, however, they are not important to bringing some peace to my cluttered mental state at the moment. I am thinking, however, that I will be changing my bedsheets before I go to bed - something fresh for me to curl upon. Or maybe I will change them tomorrow since I think it has been a couple of weeks since I put the sage ones on.
Anyway, I do have a new vlog up on my youtube channel - it is from last Wednesday, something short. I still have the one from Friday to edit and that one will hopefully *fingers crossed* go up on Tuesday because I'm going to sit and edit it tomorrow after work.
I think that might be all I have for you today without getting into too much personal crap that is really not suitable for the blog or the vlog. So, I'm going to toss my headphones on with some meditation sounds and go do a little bit of meditation. Have a fantastic day and I'll see you for Tuesday's post!
Friday, January 20, 2017
This weekend I seriously hope to get quite a few things done including finally getting around to filming my bullet journal faves youtube video, not sure when it will go up, but I at least want to get it filmed so I can start editing it. I also have to edit the vlog for this week - which I will probably do either tonight or tomorrow and get that up Sunday. I am considering starting to vlog every day, but I don't know we'll see what happens. My life really, really isn't that interesting and I dunno. However, I've found that just randomly vlogging has helped calm me down when I feel things starting to go kinda in a direction I don't like.
I am thankful for the ways that I can express myself in this journey that is life. The fact that I can cover so many things in different ways is something that makes my heart smile, and now if I can just stop procrastinating and start being more productive I will definitely be a lot happier.
Also, I am working on getting myself in shape - I am thinking I might kick my C25K back into gear and do a little bit of a workout this afternoon, or at least do something inside since it's starting to get hot AF outside right now. The joys of living in Florida in January...when the weather isn't being a bipolar hot mess. Though we are supposed to get rain all weekend so chances are most of my workouts will be done inside...meh, I can live with that. I also need to figure out my meal prep for next week and get that going. I don't know my schedule yet because it isn't freaking done...I am honestly hoping that it is up by the time I leave work tomorrow at 2, but I'm not going to hold my breath. I might end up taking a walk up to work on Sunday to try and get my schedule.
As for my wish list items this week, they are all stationery related.
I am looking for stationery sets. Goulet Pens has some that I am seriously contemplating getting when I have the extra money to splurge. However, I'm also looking for some cheaper ones that I can use for writing to my pen pals. It doesn't have to be super quality paper or anything like that - lately I've been using the stationery that I have had in my scrapbooking box for ever and that was purchased in the printer paper section of Wal-Mart years ago. So, what are some of your favorite stationery goodies?
Thankful Thursday, I think I covered that a couple of paragraphs up. I am hoping that I can continue to find the light in each day and continue to add a little bit of myself to those that I come across. Please be kind to one another and remember that you don't know the fight that someone else is fighting - a smile and a kind word goes a long way.
I think that's all I have for today, so I'm going to leave you with two of my favorite songs. I have listened to these songs on repeat a couple of times on some of my bad days, and some of the days that I've been dealing with things that I can't entirely figure out and ultimately they have helped me realize that I am the biggest and strongest driving force in making the changes I want to happen in my life.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
A post on the go today because typing on a regular keyboard is killing my hands. I am currently in my brace because my neuropathy is flaring badly.
This however is not the main part of my anxiety at this point in time. No, today's anxiety attack is cause by attempting to find a doctor that I can get into like as soon as possible. I need to get into a doctor because I am almost out of my nerve medication. Without it I will spend most of my days in pain and be nearly useless because I cannot function when my hands are on fire and I cannot hold things.
My day started easily enough when I started making phone calls. The first place I called it took 40 min to get through and then I get told that they only do same day appointments and we're booked for today and I could try back tomorrow. Then I called the original PCP that I had been assigned to and they we're booked for new patients straight through till April or May. This is not acceptable as I am out of meds come Wednesday or Thursday if I ration.
Mind you at this point I have changed my PCP to a new one at the health department. So I call them and ultimately find out that the PCP I had been reassigned to only deals with HIV/AIDS patients and is only in the office two times a month. So I try another office and finally find a place that got me in tomorrow morning at 1030.
I am ready to breakdown and find a therapist and get this crap dealt with. I have spent most of the day currently edgy and snapping at people and crying for no reason. I am exhausted and in all honesty disgusted with myself because I cannot actually deal with this anymore.
I usually try and keep things a little less personal but this is starting to actively impact my daily life and I cannot function like this. I need to figure this out and actually get my shit in line. I have actually been somewhat triggery all weekend and yesterday. Now it has pretty much been coming to a point especially because of what I had to deal with this morning.
Now I am watching some NCIS because this is my comfort show and to be honest I have seen most of the early seasons so I don't need to really focus.
That is about all I have for you today. For now, I bid you all a good evening and I will hopefully have something less serious for you tomorrow.
Friday, January 13, 2017
Right, so as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, as I identify as pansexual...though to be honest, it might be more demisexual with homoerotic tendencies...but whatever. The only thing that tends to be straight at any given point is my hair, and as of late that's required too much effort and my straightener is broken anyway.
Part of my goal for reading this year is to read more books that involve persons of color either as a main character or author. I also want to read more books that focus on the LGBTQ+ community. So, in my research, I found a couple of really good lists that I'm going to pick from as I can get the books in my hands, and see what my local library has in the way of these authors.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
For the past few months that I've been using my Bullet Journal, I have been allowing myself to reflect on things that I am thankful for. Each month I build a Gratitude log into my monthly pages. Spending time each day, reflecting on the things that I am most grateful for.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
There are loads of books coming out this month and I'm absolutely looking forward to all of them! Seriously! I want them all and I want them now! Gimme!
Ahem...I mean, now I'm done channeling my inner Varuka from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Let me share with you the fantastic books that I want to get my hands on this month!
The final book in the Fever series by Karen Marie Moning. I am anxious and a bit saddened that this series will be over so soon. However, I have absolutely loved every single pulse-pounding moment of this series. I cannot wait to see what conclusion has been crafted for MacKayla Lane and Jerricho Barrons. This one hits shelves on Jan 17th and I must have it!
This book is the first book in a new series by Veronica Roth. This one, I'm a bit critical going into it, however, I am looking forward to it. It is touted as a book that will appeal to Star Wars and Divergent fans so we will see how this shapes up. I did enjoy the Divergent series, and I am a Star Wars fan. I am willing to give it a chance, and eventually, I will be offering my own review on this book. It just might take some time. This one will hit shelves on Jan 17th.
City of Saints & Thieves! This cover is absolutely eye catching and totally makes me a sucker for wanting this book. Well, to be honest, I'm looking forward to the story that's written on the pages as well! This thriller is set in Kenya and involves a girl who essentially doesn't exist. She attempts to figure out who killed her mother and it takes time before she ultimately begins to find out what she has been waiting for. This one will hit the shelves on Jan 24th.
This is a story about a landmark civil rights case that allow for marriage between races. Richard and Mildred Loving were the subjects of this civil rights case. They faced discrimination, hatred, ultimately their love won and interracial marriages were legalized. This story will hit shelves on Jan 31st.
What books are you looking forward to this month?
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
No, seriously, I'm furiously typing and attempting to get loads of content up for this week. I've got a couple days off and that means filming (If I'm lucky) and getting a heads up on some of my blog posts, as well as hopefully getting a few things done around the house that need to get done...I won't bore you with the list, but they are things like laundry and coloring my hair and things like that.
Anyway, as you can tell from the title, my thoughts today are on books and bullet journals! These two things are pretty much my life as of late, as well as my music which I've been completely absorbed in the last few days when I'm not binge watching things on Netlfix (yeah, I'm shameless like that...Oh, Shameless...that's a good show, need to watch more of it! Later >.>).
I figured I would share a few of my favorite Bookstagram and BuJo Instagram accounts! I know you'll love em, and you should definitely give them a follow...as well as follow mine, which can be found below.
Favorite Bookstagram Accounts
Got so much snow today and I'm just not having it. I miss going outside everyday to take bookish pictures. Now, the weather is uncomfortable. 😞 I want Spring to come already. | #bookstagram #readersofinstagram #bibliophile #igreads #booksofinstagram #bookworm #bookdragon #bookphotography #bookish #booklr #vscobooks #goodreads |A photo posted by w e n d y (@suburbiareads) on
The reading challenge is on! My goal is to read 50 books this year. Last year I read 40, it's time to step it up. In fact, today I just finished "The Lost World" by Michael Crichton. I can't lie I enjoy the scientific dialogue and questions concerning life, the universe and everything. What are you reading this week?A photo posted by Angela J. Ford (@aford21) on
Favorite BuJo Instagrams
By far one of my favorite spreads in my #BulletJournal last month! Kim @tinyrayofsunshine inspired me to start logging my gratitude over a year ago, and I just love how the practice has evolved since then. - It's great to look back on, and even more so when times are tough. Approaching life daily with gratitude has been such a mindset shift and a huge part of my personal development over the past couple of years. I find myself looking at the world through new eyes, constantly on the search for new things to be grateful for each and every day ☺ - #bulletjournal #bohoberrytribe #leuchtturm1917 #wearebujo #tombowdualbrushpens #gratitude #attitudeofgratitude #miraclemorningA photo posted by Kara 🌸 Boho Berry (@boho.berry) on
A photo posted by Study Tips (@mylittlejournalblog) on
Zoom in 🔍 #bulletjournal #bujo #bulletjournaljunkies #bulletjournaling #bulletjournals #bujojunkies #bulletjournalcommunity #planneraddict #bulletjournallove #planner #bujoinspire #plannercommunity #bujolove #notebook #bujoaddict #studygram #bujocommunity #studyblr #showmeyourplanner #leuchtturm1917 #lettering #journal #bulletjournalnewbie #planning #plannerlove #handwriting #handlettering #bulletjournalitalia #study #stationaryA photo posted by A planner addicted Girl 🇮🇹❤ (@mybujostory) on
Okay, so if you've followed me this far, thank you so much! These are a few of my favorite Instagram accounts and I figured I would share some of them with you today. They are where I get some of my inspirations from, especially the Boho Berry account. Kara's stuff is absolutely amazeballs and I adore her so very much!
Anyway, I think I'm going to wrap up this blog and get to work on a few other things I've got planned to go live today! Love you all!
Goal for today - dealing with those personal deadlines like a bawse!
This was me this morning when I woke up and looked at the temperature, simply because I have to leave the house. I cannot stay in my pajamas all day again (much like yesterday!). So, I know this is two days late, but I was too damn cold to function and pretty much vegged out watching things on Youtube and writing letters to my pen pals because I'd been neglecting them due to being sick and the holidays.
I am currently in the process of doing about 6 different things (including getting ready to walk out the door) and all of them will help keep me organized and happy in the coming months...or at least I hope so :) Beyond that, I'm just dealing with life as it is thrown at me. I'm relaxing when I can, and ultimately attempting to ensure that I am productive as possible.
Yes, I know this is technically Sunday's blog...it's been cold and I've been achy and typing has not been my friend because of my neuropathy, which tends to settle in my left hand/wrist and make my life difficult. I haven't even been on social media much in the last couple of days due to the fact that the cold is screwing with my productivity.
Right now, I'm finishing this, and then working on today's blog post and a series of reviews, and then I need to actually finish setting up my bujo that is devoted to my blog. I've bought a cheap little dollar store notebook (rather, I found one hiding in some of my stuff) and I'm turning it into my blog bullet journal. Something a bit minimalist, though that really won't last because honestly, I am too creative to keep anything completely minimalist.
I am still attempting to change my mindset and actively get moving and productive in this new year, but it is hard. I know part of my problem and it is at the point where I need to stop messing around and start ensuring that I have the money for doctors appointments that I need, so I can actively start working on taking care of my mental and physical health. It does not help that I've been feeling more run down than usual (strep throat didn't really help that feeling at all) but I've also been fighting a bit more with my anxiety and depression and those are things that I need to get under control, to the point that I need to probably start adding a symptom/trigger tracker to my bullet journal or start including triggers/symptoms that have caused an issue with my anxiety or depression so I have the notes when I finally make it to a doctors appointment.
Time for me to start getting productive, my Spotify playlist is calling my name.
Sunday, January 8, 2017
Saturday, January 7, 2017
So, if you know anything about me (and you should if you've been following the blog for awhile)...you know that my productivity comes in waves. There will be months where I'm super-duper productive and get out all the reviews and all the blog posts and then there will be months where it seems like I've fallen off the face of the earth. I know you've honestly heard what I'm about to say before, but, this time, I seriously, seriously freaking mean it...I am honestly going to actually get my crap together and keep up this level of productivity for all three hundred and sixty five days of this year (Okay, don't judge, and yes I know I've already missed 2 blog posts this week...and I've not posted a single review for this year yet...hush...I'm getting there!), or rather the days that are left. Especially since I intend on incorporating some youtube videos into the mix of things -- yes I know, I need to fix the link in my last blog post concerning the vid, there were issues, and it got reuploaded and I'll fix the link - after this blog post!
What can you, honestly, expect from me in 2017 that is different than every other time I've attempted to boost my productivity in the years past? I am actually 100% setting up a window of about 3-4 hours a day (probably realistically 1-2 on days that I work longer shifts at work) that will be devoted to getting up blog content. I will be hopefully filming youtube videos which will probably for the most part focus on my bullet journal and maybe some book stuff on Sundays, editing on Monday or Tuesday and uploading on Tuesday or Wednesday, with another upload probably on Saturday. We will see, as that is still somewhat up in the air as to just how many videos I'm going to post in a week because I do have to share the bandwidth with 4 other people and they tend to get bitchy when things get horribly laggy or some shit. I am also attempting to work through some backlog when it comes to reviews. I am currently attempting to pen out a review schedule in a little pocket planner that I have, or I might buy a notebook (because I so need more of those) from the dollar store and turn that into my review tracking bullet journal and customize it for that. That might, now that I think about it, be the better option for this...yeah, will have to see what I can find at the dollar store that will fit what I want and probably start working on that tomorrow or probably Monday before I have to go to work.
What can you expect to see in the coming week?
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Normally this post would be already pre-written, fashioned to perfection the night before on New Year's Eve, or even a couple of days in advance. However, this year, I've chosen to do this post on the first day of the year and write it as the thoughts come to me.
I am glad that 2016 has gone, and that a new set of 365 days are unfolding before us. I am grateful for the days that have passed, the fact that I survived what the previous year has thrown at me. I will survive and move forward in this year. I have ambitious goals for this year, and I am hoping to cross things off my bucket list that have been there for quite some time.
I have chosen my word of the year and that is productivity. I intend to be more productive, more active, more creative, more accomplished in the coming year. Bullet journaling has proven to be a resourceful thing in my life, ensuring that I have a creative outlet, as well as providing me with a visual look at the things that I need to get done during the day, week, month, year. I am thankful for the discovery of this system and I highly encourage you to check it out if you think it might be something for you.
As you can see on the sidebar, the weekly schedule has changed and I am working on providing new and unique content for you guys! I will be keeping up with the reviews, and trying to get at least 4-6 reviews out weekly along with the regular blog posts - including random posts when the mood strikes me on any given day (that's what mobile posting is for!).
Oh, and nothing like starting the year off with strep throat. Yeah, that's been me, so there was no overindulging last night, no excessive amounts of booze, and to be honest, I was nyquilled up and in bed before Mariah Carey's fail and the ball drop. Usually I am able to stay up, but this year being sick has taken it's toll on me and I just wanted my bed, my stuffed pooh bear bumble bee, and my blankets.
I've already got my first few books of the year outlined, and am not sure which one I'm going to start first. I'm eyeing The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin first because that one's been on my TBR for a little while now. However, I'm also considering The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski or The Circle by David Eggers - which I want to read before I can see the movie.
Oh, and if you check the where to find me, you might find a new link. Yes, I am brushing off my youtube channel and actually getting the courage up to start filming videos for my channel. We will see how long my confidence lasts, and I know, the quality will not be the best for now, but I will work on getting a better camera and working on the quality of the videos the more invested I become with filming them.
I think that is all I have for right now, there might be another post later! For now, I wish you all the love and blessings that this year could possibly hold!